Interesting tidbit.

I found a little black puppy wonder outside in the rain i took it in but i think it has fleas. Poor puppy.

Interesting tidbit.

Aha New Pictures Coming Soon!!

Wee I just schedule a pic session with one of my friends, I hope it goes well.
As usual I want it to be very different i like my pictures to be colorful and fun my inspiration for this session will be sort of W magazinish and like Kylie Minogue photo shoot for her album "X"

Yeah sorta like that, you think out side of the box more the the average sitting down sipping champagne with a pencil skirt on. I want them to be daring even if i guy doesn't choose to see me i still want him to be entertained by my photos and think "Hmm.. that's different"

I know what your thinking,

"Yeah I think its great and all you want good pictures and stuff but ummm.. am i still gonna see the goods?"

Yes you'll still be able to see my ass.

toddles

Can't Get It Out Of My Head

wish i could dance like that

Stuff I like to Do

I like to buy Condoms, giganti amounts of condoms from Walmart at like 4 in the morning when they are all these old people there. Its funny to see them hide their expressions on their faces when they look at me smiling like a 4 year old getting a Tickle Me Elmo.

The CupCake BlowJob

Tonight, just a few minutes ago, I struck genius at it's kinkiest.

The cupcake BJ

One of my friends came over to hang out, but he's never one to just sit around and watch TV with me. So While things were getting steamy, I made a dash for my shopping bag where i Had just picked up some edible body mousse from the store and it came with sprinkles. I thought it would be sexy but it turned out to be hilarious. First I told him to take off his shirt and but his chest was really hair but i put the mousse on his chest anyway and licked it off then I tried to open the sprinkles and it exploded. so there where sprinkles everywhere on my bed , in my bra, down his pants-- so the only feasible thing to do was to go down there and rescue the sprinkles from his crotch, and boy was he excited that i had went down there. Then I slathered the mousse on his lil rambunctious reveller and put sprinkles on it to make it my own gourmet treat. We thought this was hilarious and couldn't keep a straight face because i kept piling on the sprinkles so it really looked like a cupcake.


Mmmmm Delicious.

I finished it off and by the time I was done we were both full.

Yummy.

He let me take pictures of the cupcake, I might post it. I might not.


Toodles

Mission Impossible

Why?
Because I so fuckin' lazy.

Progress: Trying to give myself a french manicure while eating a Popsicle, trying to defeat the threat of messing up my nails and getting brain freeze at the same time. That ain't pretty.

So... Some of the Tribulations I have undergone.

CAUTION: I'm going to be pretty vulgar.

So I was on a date things are going very well it was just the beginning and as an appetizer I always like go down and go to town. So Just when I think he;s ripe and ready to fuck he puts the condom on. But condoms aren't penises best friend.

Cock- "What the- What are you put on me? Are you tryin to suffocate me? I'm not gonna take any of this."

So he take the condom off so I can revive him up and Im doing that for a second and then my toungue and the roof of my mouth starts tingling and then it gets numb. I'm thinking maybe my mouth is just tired but then my cheecks start tingling and I stop and try to talk but I sound like my moth is filled with cotton. " Ah Canh Pheea Ma Koung" I was trying to say I cant feel my touge but I couldnt therefore I cant say it correctly. I go get a cup of water and he's asking me whats wrong and Im asking him questions but he cant understand me so he just puzzled. After i get a drink of water, I scramble on the floor trying to find the condom wrapper- ( he brought his own and we used that) when I found it I figured out why my mouth was numb.

CLIMAX CONTROL-- Which means it had something in it to numb his penis to stop him from cumming to quickly.

After I regained proper speech I thought it was hilarious but he couldnt stop apoligizing although it wasnt anyones fault at all.

"Please dont put this in your blog"

--" You've got to be kidding me, that was hilarious, I have to!"

He finally agreed to let me write what you are reading now, just as long as I didnt put down his name, which I never do of course. Because I a lady.

And I neve kiss and tell-- names that is.

To the Doms

Gentlemen,
In the time I have lived in DC I have met and corresponded with a number of you, and frankly I am a little disappointed with the men in this area who call themselves Doms. I find it hard to believe that in a city based on the power of politics that at least a few of you can't step up to the plate and get the whole BDSM thing right. Since you all seem to be having a difficult time with this I thought I would give you a few guidelines to make your search for your own submissive princess more successful. I am only giving you this input out of love, no one wants to see you succeed more than I do dear, so please read carefully.

#1) A submissive is not a doormat. Don't expect me to do whatever you say when we are not in the bedroom. No I won't clean up your apartment, no I won't wake up at three am to fuck you, and no I will not leave work early because you can't just jack off like everyone else does. Listen, I am totally turned on when you order me around in the bedroom, it's totally hot. However, it is annoying in my vanilla life, I am just as busy as you are, so lay off. If I wanted that kind of subservience I would move to Saudi Arabia.

#2) Sending me an email saying you're a Dom, doesn't make you my Master. Seriously, if I sent you an email claiming I was a cardiologist would you let me give you an angioplasty? I am just as protective of my snatch as you are of heart. When I get an email from you immediately giving me an order to take down my ad, send you a nude picture, etc, I show it to my roommate and we laugh at what an asshole you are. My lack of reply should be an indication to you of how well this strategy works. It's even better when you send me a second even more demanding email. Christ dumb ass, it's not working, try something else. Try slowing down, would it really kill you to have a cup of coffee to get to know me a little first.

#3) No, your friend cannot watch or join us. I don't know your friend, and I don't want to fuck him.

#4) NSA means NSA. I am not looking for a husband. If I were I would be married by now. If I meet you on Casual Encounters, it probably means I am not going to move in with you. Again, I have a life too. Having said that, if you would like to see me again, just ask. I might say yes if the sex was fun. Don't send me creepy emails asking how I'm doing and don't drive by my house seeing if I'm home. This kind of behavior makes me think I should call the sheriff to see if your address has been updated in the offender registry. Oh, and Brian, stop sending me text messages. You were a lousy lay, and you cell phone has a virus, which fucks up my phone every time you send me one of your inane messages. Go the fuck away.

#5) Don't expect me to suck your cock without any reciprocation. No fun for my pussy means no second date for you, period. Submissives like oral sex too. Don't get me wrong, I love sucking cock, but it is not enough to keep me interested in you for more than twenty minutes. Additionally, if I have sucked your cock for half an hour and you still refuse to cum I am throwing you out of my apartment. I don't care if you still have a raging boner, my gay neighbor will get to enjoy watching you struggle to unlock your car with a hard on.

#6) Seriously, your friend cannot watch.

#7) Yes, we have to meet in public the first time. Also, no I won't come to your apartment, never having met you and put on a blindfold without seeing you first. I also will not get into your car with you and let you drive me some place I've never been before. Safety clown says those are bad ideas. I like being tied up and fucked. I do not like being tied up, fucked, injected with drain cleaner, and strangled. I don't know you, and you haven't gained my trust. And yes, I want your real name, address, and phone number. I will give it to my roommate so he can check up on me if I don't come home in time. This is common sense, and if you are a real Dom you will always put our safety first. If you don't want to tell me your name you are hiding something and I don't want to deal with you.

#8) Under no circumstances will I do the We/we, D/s bullshit while we IM. I/it I/is I/inane.

#9) Enough pictures of your cocks already! Again, I just show these to my roommate for our amusement (and he's a queer). Bonus points to all you gentlemen who send me a penis pic when you have a really small cock. Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

#10) Again, your friend cannot watch. Who is that guy anyway? Wasn't he in Deliverance?

#11) You may not call me bitch, slut, or whore outside the bedroom. If you do, don't be surprised if I go nuclear on your ass. I have a name, use it. If not I might be forced to refer to you as daddy in public.

#12) If you don't respect and like women, don't email me. If you hate women and want a blowjob, I can hook you up with my gay roommate.

#13) If I spend two hours getting ready for our playdate I expect you to put a little effort in to getting ready as well. At least shower, no one likes that musty ball smell. Listen, I am a nice, smart woman who just happens to like a little spanking and bondage. I am sure most of you are nice men who like the same things. I'm sure we can work this out. Post these guidelines by your computer before you answer the next ad and I'm sure it will work out for you.

Happy hunting you naughty bastard.

मैथ

When you are handing you delightful escort ( not handing more like putting it on the table) her money, do you ever think, "What will my new friend use this donation for?" Is it to donate to a homeless shelter? Probally not. Sponsoring a child in Mexico with only 1 dollar a day? Deffinately not. Supply her Crack addiction? Maybe. College, rent, or kids? Hells yeah.

Okay so I don't have any kids ( dont want any, sorry) but I have decide to inform you about how I spend the money donated to me for my time.


Okay Here Comes The Math....

A majority paying off college loans which I collect til i get to one thousand and then send.
My rent by my evil Commie Landlord ( He's from North Korea and he's mean so I have full right to assume he is a communist)
I save up some to in my SSA (Shoebox Savings Account) since i dont think its a real good to repeatedly make cash deposits to my bank account.
To feed my addiction, which is Good and Plentys Licorice Candy, that i drown myself in and I feel lost without. I always need to have at least a box of this a day or else i will suffer from withdrawal. For other girls Diamonds and FLowers make them happy, for me... give me a box of G&P's and you have my heart.
Video games (Hey. at least its not going towards Drugs and I'm only 20 i can still have fun) I am a severe game enthusiast.
Clothes i.e. things that I can wear on future dates with men which is kind of tricky because it has to be sexy enough to make the guy smile when the door opens but not skanky so i wont get weird looks from the hotel staff when I go up to rooms. Usually I wear my houndstooth minidress with my tight button down red cardigan, gives me that sexy secretary look.
And finally, upkeep as in nails hair and makeup. Gotta stay pretty, or as good looking as possible.

So that's it!!! I am glad to serve as your guide into the finacial world of an escort.

Ta-Ta!!!

The Birth of Sasha Emberdale

Claire Jettas R.I.P. 2008

Damn. I need pictures now.