OMG

I got my toes sucked and I loved It!!!

Fucking HArd

Fuck you, cleaning the fridge. How the hell do you get so dirty? I don't eat in there, I simply store food. What the fuck is that stain on the bottom shelf? Do gnomes have parties in here when I'm at work or something? Nasty little gnomes. And, for some reason, I feel really, really vulnerable when I'm bent over, scrubbing your gross shelves. Don't know why. So thank you for keeping my beer cold, but fuck you for making a mess of it.
Fuck you, paying bills. Every fucking month? Are you kidding me? I barely even watched TV this month, I still gotta shell out all that cash? And, while I'm at it, fuck your pathetic little late fees. They're small enough for me to easily ignore them but they add up over time. So thank you for the electricity, water and internet, but fuck you for your constant demands.
Fuck you, deleting old files from my computer. What girl can make this decision? It's like choosing which of my kids to leave behind on the sinking ship. Fuck, this is killing me. I hate my old ass computer.
Fuck you, changing light bulbs. It's 2008, right? I was pissed when I wasn't issued a jetpack in 2000 (where's my fucking raygun?!?), but I figured by now technology would've at least advanced to the point where I don't have to stand on my wobbly chair and deal with this crap. Two bonus fuck yous: for scaring the crap out of me when I walk into a darkened room, innocently flick the switch and get momentarily blinded by that huge flash and terrifying pop! Also, for somehow convincing your lightbulb brethren to join you, causing a chain reaction that means I'm filled with fear whenever I turn on a light. Pop! Pop! Pop! What, did you all join in a suicide pact while I was asleep?
Bastards.
Why the hell did I get the bunny. My bunny is fucking crazy he claws at the walls like a dying dog who knows its going to be euthanized. Its sad and annoying at the same time and he produces a mountain a crap in a day. Is that Coco puffs in the cage? I dont have coco puff has my neighbor been trying to kill my bunny? No. It smells weird. Oh Gawwwd.
Fuck you, washing dishes. Yes, I know, you smell funny, and I know the longer I wait, the more weird slime stuff is just gonna accumulate on you. That's why I've pretty much switched to just using paper plates (fuck you, environment) and eating with my hands. I'm a caveman in an apartment.

Its hard being an adult and I am slowly and painful learning this.


Steams My Beans

Snickerdoodles.

Wooo!!! New Review!!

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Worst Birthday Everrrrrrr

Now, you know I hardly complain but i'm pretty sure my birthday could not get any worse.

Now here's how my dream birthday would have went.

8 am - Drive to Burger King and get my most favorite breakfeast in the world (French toast sticks w/ sryup and super caffinated coffee) while catching up on gossip on Perez Hilton.

9:30 am- Take a Bubble Bath, exfoliate and pamper myself so I can look perfect to go to KINGS DOMINON!!!

10:30 am- Go to Target and Get a new bathing suit and board shorts particularly something bright and patterned because im kooky like that.

11 am- Eat mushrooms and then start heading to Kings Dominion w/ my buddies.

12pm- Start halluinating and try to kill my friends in the back seat because now they have become ninjas.

1 pm- KINGS DOMINON!!!

6 pm - Go back home and take a nap.

7 pm- Go to 7-11 and pack up on snacks to smuggle into the movies

7:30 pm- see GET SMART!! woooooo!!!

9 pm- Get to Hooters overdose on oysters and chicken wings.

10:30 go home make carmel corn and watch superbad and play MARIO KART on the big TV.


2 am- Pass out happy.

Did that happen? No.

I woke up at like 12 and my friend came over to help me get my keys which i locked in the trunk of my scooter. I know , I know, how exactly did I lock my keys in my scooter? Well I was painting it and I didnt want to get pain on the seat so I pulled it up ( underneath the seat lays the trunk) and I guess the keys where in my way so i threw them in the trunk and I guess i got destracted when I was talking to my roomate and I closed the trunk unaware that I lost my keys until I tried to get into the house.
But yeah after that my friend felt bad that I didnt have any plans so took me to the movies I really wanted to see GET SMART but nooo they were whining about KUNG FU PANDA so we ended up watching the panda movie it was okay.
But while I was in the movie I guess I lef t my phone in the movie theatre and some punk kids at the next showing took it, again I didnt realize my phone was missing until I got home.
So my friends got harrassed with calls and text messages from some brat pretending he was five. so with no way to get in contact with anyone I just laid there in my room all day playing MARIO SUPER GALAXY.
(whats up with the games? Are you kidding me I freaking love Video games!!!)
Thankfully I still had my old fone so I am currently using that but it still kils me that some little punk has my fancy phone that I love so much, I really loved that phone and my friends can vouch that numerous times I can be caught making out with my phone because its so freaking awesome.
But not anymore :(
I hope next year is better.

Ack!! Moving

What am I listening to right now? "2 Drunk to Drive" by Brokencyde. I demand you to listen to it right now, its really crude but you will laugh your ass off.

So tuesday I got this text message from my roomate:

HEY WE NEED TO MOVE OUT BY THIS WEEKEND.

I'm shocked,I didnt think I had to move by the end of the month so I wasnt really looking for a new place yet. So this would mean I would have to find a new place by friday which was four days. I HAD FOUR DAYS TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE!!

Now you crazy people who are snuggled securely in your homes with your fancy mortgages and stuff are probally saying, so what thats not that hard? But you guys got to realize, Im a college student, and landlords do not take kindly to college students or young people in general, and I completely understand why. We procrastinate, not really efficent with money, sleep all the time and are really loud and messy- well i am. And I dont know if its always been this hard but you have to literally go through everything but a anal cavity search to be able to get a place now. References, Pay stubs, grade point averages, credit checks, background searches the whole shish (?) kabob.

So I text her back:

ARE you FuCKING SERIOUS?
( I didnt really say "fucking" but I wanted to say it)
I know realize that she's probally known about it for a bit longer and didnt really have any balls to tell me to my face. So she texted me. It's like telling your wife you gambled away your kids college savings, you wait like a day so you can figure out a way to tell her in the vaguest way possible to avoid getting something thrown at your head.

She then explains to me in text message further more that since she could afford to pay for our lavish condo conviently located in the middle of hickville she'd have to break the lease and move out. I was under the assumption that all this wouldnt happen to til July so everyone would have enough time to find a new place to live. But when the landlord told her that she was going to give everyone back their deposit except for my roomate because she was in charge of the lease and she broke it, my roomate retaliated and told the landlord that she wouldnt pay the rest of the rent thefore the landlord kicked us out.

I had to rush around and find a place which means I had to take some personal days and blow some people off (SORRYYYY!!!) so i could find a place and when i finally moved on BOTH days I moved it was so fucking hot. It was like Satans Asshole, Hot, humid and very unplesant I was afraid I was going to pass out or get a hernia or something.

So whats the lesson for today??

If you have have to tell someone something bad then its better to tell them in person rather then texting them, they may punch you but it'll make them feel better in the end.

this is so sick

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sRmAyyvAcZY

Why! Why! Why!

There are some things i will divelge in but some things are just common sense. Got finished with a date and we were having a little chit chat talking about school and how the semesters over and stuff then he said, "So how much do you think you make, like in a week or something?" I hate those kind of questions, they are they worded so specifically but said so vaguely that it annoys me, like it they want to know but dont want you to know what their intentions are. Sorta sneaky. But one of the things i pride myself is that i can read people well. Like how people sorta suggest things but are trying to put the idea in your head so that you can come up with it yourself. Like, "I do it so much better with the wrapper off" "If you wanna just hang out" things to that nature.

Oh yeah that reminds me why would anyone want to have sex with ANYONE who they fully know and acknowledge that they are premiscuos, not just people in my business but anyone, that really drunk girl that you meet when you are out for the night and while you are driving her intoxicated butt to your place to get laid she talks about all the other one night stands she had and how bad they were. Yeah I know the vagina is a mans kyptonite but seriously people.

But back to the money question that dude asked about, him asking how much money I make is like a date asking what kind of car you drive on the first date. Its gonna make you supsicous, it makes you think.. what are this persons intentions.. should I call then back for a second date.

Honestly if I had the stamnia and the non-laziness I would make alot more then what I do. But guess what? I'm happy where I am.
Yeah GTGb

TORNADO WARNING!!!

why interrupt fifteen minutes of my great tv show "how it's made" to tell me that a tornado might maybe happen somewhere in the vicitinity close to our area. Then later they tell you it happen 50 miles away in Fredericksburg.

For once i loved to get a toranado around here, just makes things a little interesting.